


Say, You’re Mine

by euisgelo



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-14
Updated: 2012-03-14
Packaged: 2017-11-01 22:24:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euisgelo/pseuds/euisgelo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>And then you realize that you’re merely his toy, his other bitch. You’re a bitch. And you told him that when he fucks you senseless. He stops dead on his pounding and flips you over to look you in your eyes and says, “No, Donghae, you’re my Donghae,” but he keeps on fucking. You aren’t sure anymore what’s reality and what fantasy is. You thought he’s declaring his ownership on you, but you know deep inside that he said it just to keep you on his bed, at least until he comes and fills you full.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say, You’re Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Title's from a series by belyste@LJ because I helplessly in love with her fics. You see, I write craps these days... kinda couldn't help it... 'coz I need some experiments to improve my writing... at least I hope so. My second attempt on second point of view! I hope it's not too demanding LOL anyway, happy reading!

 

You don’t know when it started. You don’t even know what this  _it_  is. People around you defined it for you, but none of the words fit. And you also skeptical, since none of them know what  _exactly_  happen between you and Hyukjae. So, they know you two screwing around, but that’s it all they know.

Honestly though, you don’t really care, because he’s all yours and you’re his and it was all that matter.

He’s still sharing his earphone with you, he’s still sharing his towel with you, he still smiles gummy smile to you, he’s still teasing you menacingly and it’s all never change since the first day you met him.

You are his best friend. He’s even sharing his food when with other, he doesn’t share at all. You’re where he went when he’s feeling down or feeling bouncy or feeling like crying. You’re where he went when he told a secret or a crush or an embarrassing confession.

You spend most of your teenage with him, growing up in the sweat and loud music and the squeak your shoes made in the furnished wooden floor.

You learn about him more than you learn about yourself. You know about how he feels more than him self. You know what he wants more than him self. You know how his thought works. You know everything. He’s your  _everything_.

You know it. You know that you fallen in love with him. You know that you want him. You know that he wants you too. Your first time was when you spotted the same amount of lust in his eyes, lack of clothes and lack of breath, but also lack of alcohol.

You were sober to aware of what you were doing, so was he. And he made sure you won’t forget that night: a strong arm in the small of your back, holding you against the bathroom tile while the other one clapped over you mouth, controlling your breath, keeps you under his control while he fucked you deep and oh so good.

He keeps doing that once in a while. Making sure no one home and sneaking in when you’re showering then he’ll keep on fucking you ‘till the water turn cold.

There were some times when you were contemplating. Like when Hyukjae tells you with a bright smile, he was dating someone. You smile back, because it’s all you can do, because you know that you’re his best friend and smile back as if you’re happy for him is what best friend do.

No, you’re not feeling obligated to be happy for him. It’s what your happiness all about: his happiness. No matter how much you hate his girls, you’re still happy when he told you about his dates with bright blinding smile.

You’re still spending time with him in the dance studio, keep remind him that you’re always on his side right from the start, that you’re here, that he should notice you more than his bitches.

“We should make us official,” you say out of the blue one day. He looks up to you from his phone and seems genuinely confuse. “We should date,” you rephrase for him.

He laughs at it and dismisses it as a huge friggin’ funny joke. And you never dare to bough it up again.

This is merely a joke for him. For the first time of your absurd relationship, you felt pain in your heart. Pain that you never felt even if he told you how fantastic sex with who-ever-but-not-you was.

And then you realize that you’re merely his toy, his other bitch. You’re a bitch. And you told him that when he fucks you senseless. He stops dead on his pounding and flips you over to look you in your eyes and says, “No, Donghae, you’re my Donghae,” but he keeps on fucking. You aren’t sure anymore what’s reality and what fantasy is. You thought he’s declaring his ownership on you, but you know deep inside that he said it just to keep you on his bed, at least until he comes and fills you full.

However, even after that you still sate him on bed. You never learn, because you’re freaking pathetic. You’re already falling for him hard long, long time ago and now you don’t care if you just his sex toy, even if now you hurt when he fucks you, even if you cry after he fucks you.

You should careless, because you should have know, that this is what it would be. You know the second you wish for something else, you are gone too far and couldn’t turn back.

You try to find a comfort, but every of it hurt you even more. Every time you done someone, there’s a stab on your heart. You would cry just like when he done you, because all you can think of when you’re with somebody else is him.

He’s gone beyond a poison for you. And you’re dying slowly in his deathly venom, intoxicated to the point of no return.

You just realize it as you pounding in and out Jessica and the back of your eyes are burning, treating to spill good amount of fresh tears. You hold back your tears and bury your face in her mess of soft hair, listening to her soft panting. Your tears will come faster than your sperms and you don’t want it to happen. Crying when you’re fucking someone is a really awkward thing to do to say the least. And it would make it even worst between you and Jessica.

So you pound harder into her, but when she twitches you know that she knew. Guilt’s building up on your chest and blocking the air to your lungs. You draw out and come in the condom before fall beside her, face first into the pillow. You can hear her breath gradually even. “You should learn to say no,” her voice is soft but cold. It’s the best she can come up with. She still cares even if you hurt her. That’s why you decide that it might be best to comply.

So you do say no. And you watch on how his eyes shots wide in surprise as you push him back on arm reach. Your skin’s hot, your pulse’s throbbing, your blood rushes to your dick, but you say no. He never tries after that.

He’s still sharing his food with you, he’s still sharing his ear phone with you, he’s still cuddling on you on free Saturday night and he’s still leaning on you on the plane trip. So you thought it was okay. You’re going to be okay. You still have his shoulder to cry on when Jessica break you up. It’s so damn fucking okay if you don’t catch him looking at you with hurt and broken heart.

You don’t know what’s wrong with him. He still got flings and play things even if he doesn’t have you anymore. So you don’t quiet understand what was the look for. Why Hyukjae so eager on abusing your personal space now? He looks like desperate for a piece of you and you sick on thinking about that.

Can’t Hyukjae stop and respect his privacy and stop thinking he can get you back on his bed? You’re angry just to think about it. It’s hurt you more than before. But you don’t cry this time. You know better now that you shouldn’t rub on his ego and make him think that you want him too. You want him, of course but it’s better if he doesn’t know it.

Unfortunately, the time is up and Hyukjae is running out of patience. He practically shoves him self to you, pins you against the counter and kiss you rough. Both of his hands are on your wrist, straining you painfully hard and he refuses to let go.

That is where you snap and realize that your lust isn’t mutually the same. That’s when you feel that this is wrong, that this is… ugly. You try to shove him off you, avoiding his lips and desperate grinds on your hips. You’re trying hard not to cry.

And that’s it. You give up. You let it go, all your struggle and rejection. You stand still and let Hyukjae have his way, but don’t return even a bit of it, until Hyukjae realizes and lets you go. 

He shoves him self off to look at you. You see how his eyes change from lust to confusion and then to frustration.

“Donghae, what’s wrong with you?” he asks desperately. The way you shut him off made him lost and you know you should tell him everything. You always tell him everything and he understands. He always understands. So he’ll understand, right?

“Hyukjae, I love you,” you say, quivering hard from the effort of hold back your tears, but it’s all you can do.

At your statement, Hyukjae’s backing away from you, “What?”

Right then you lost your hold on your tears, because it was his answer. The rejection that you didn’t see’s coming. Suddenly you feel dirty and worthless. You sold your soul for him yet he doesn’t want you. You give him everything yet he walks away and closes the door behind him. All he said was ‘I’m sorry’ but you feel sorry more for your self.

Your knees give up on you and you slump down to the wooden floor. You fold up your knees and hug them tightly, because it’s all what left for you to hold on. You don’t know how to stop your tears. They’re just flooding down you cheeks. You’re sobbing, you’re crying, you’re choking, but they just didn’t stop.

It’s the end of you.

 

_Fin._


End file.
